Marriage Money, and Sex

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Marriage, money and sex play an important role in every day life for everyone. They are the core foundations to the establishment of Islam, especially females in Islam. Dowry in terms of relationship (marriage), sex, money is one of the all encompassing ways of life throughout history for a woman and a man.

Ali attempts to unfold and challenge dowry; “consider dowry, the regulations governing spousal support and sexual availability, and the prohibition of intermarriage between Muslims women and non-Muslim men... justify continued adherence to certain classical rules are incompatible with other commonly held ideas about marriage” (2). She does not attempt to construct legal arguments but rather “critique the ways views are reproduced and defended... suggest that reconsideration of dowry, spousal support, and intermarriage provides one possible way of thinking about a new structure for egalitarian marriage that bypasses the patriarchal presumption of these rules and avoids becoming mired in the minutiae of incremental legal reform” (3).

Examining the dowry and looking at the legal rulings are in important and crucial for reform to occur. It has always been assumed that the dowry payment is part of financial support for women in the beginning of a marriage. It has been perceived to be the right of women in case there are troubles within the spousal relationship which may lead to divorce; it is the “economic security” for women. The amount for dowry varies for different families depending on their economic status but, some type of dowry is given.
Dowry is practiced almost by all American Muslims. It has not been of practical use but rather it is symbolic. Is this positive symbolism all wrong? Do enough American Muslims really know what the dowry is and what it represents?

Unfortunately through the jurist’s interpretation the dowry is the “compensation paid by the husband for exclusive legitimate sexual access to his wife” (4). It gives males the initiate for divorce. This compensation is usually referred to as milk al-nikah where the husband has exclusive dominion on the sexual reproductive organs of the female thus having the rights to have legitimate sexual intercourse.

It is an exchange of control; the control of sex for males and the control over portions of money for females, this exchange is not an equal swap, it is unequal. Why is there a need to have an imbalance in this exchange?

It is interesting to note that sexual celibacy is objected by the prophet and the sexual pleasure for both females and males are recognized and further emphasized in a relationship. Pleasure is unequal as well because it rests on the male’s full control over it because of the dowry. Dowry regulates that it is the women duty to always be sexual available for the husband but it is not necessary for the men to always be available. Men do have to provide some portion of time but it is not as strike as the rules are for females.

What about women’s sexual pleasure? How are the times portioned out between husbands who have multiple wives and concubines? Are there regulations or the minimum amount of time a husband has to spend with his wife?
In Al-Ghazali the importance female sexual pleasure satisfaction emphasized. Dissatisfaction of sexual pleasure will ultimately damage the intimate relation ship between couples. Problems intimately will promote problems in the relationship and may lead to divorce. Pleasures for both partners are important and there have been many literatures historically stating the importance from both husband and wife. Sexual pleasures in spousal relationships have always be one of the integral factors of husband wife relationship. Historical literature thus suggests that slowly reform has been occurring to establish an equal foundation for female’s sexuality.

Different schools have distinct interpretations about women’s consent on the matter of withdrawal however, the Shafi school see women’s consent of withdrawal to be irrelevant.

This imposes a problem especially in identifying what role, if any, women have in the sexual relationship, rather than just being there as a body. It also brings about important question as to what is considered enticing for the male partner. Is it this control and superiority of the situation that is pleasing to the male counterpart?
It would be interesting to do a comparison between the sexual ethic found in different school particularly about consent. Malaki is said to have the most reformed form of regulations. Morocco's reformed mudawwana laws on family law are based on Malaki laws.

How can that be? What about the male duty? A female has the right to be protected and supported financially by the husband. Protection can be expanded further to defining sexual comfort for physical and mental well being of the female. This expansion of protection then establishes that sex is also a female right also in accordance to the fiqh text. Expansions and developments of terms and verses have always existed and been maded